Empfangskammer » e-pleasing in this quadrant comes

People pleasing can be a defeating habit in a person's life cheap nike air force 1 , simply because the act itself takes your focus off what you CAN control, and puts your focus on to what you CAN?T control, which is somebody else's happiness and peace of mind. Here is a perfect example to illustrate my point:


If you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just received a raise at work ? the flowers you give them are just going to add to their joy, and you are going to have a wonderful evening.


However, if you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just got fired from work ? they may look at the flowers and give a quick smile just to acknowledge you and quickly go back to sulking ? or worse cheap air force 1 shoes , they may be hateful and yell, ?WHAT GOOD ARE FLOWERS GOING TO DO ME NOW?!?!? ARE THEY HIRING FLORISTS?!?!?


Of course, this is common sense ? but it is a perfect example of why people pleasing doesn't work 100% of the time. You will never be able to predict what kind of mood anyone is going to be in all the time, simply because things will always happen outside of our control. Consequently, your happiness or misery is in the other person's hands, which puts you into a very vulnerable position.


I have developed what I call, ?The People Pleasing Quadrant? to broaden readers awareness of what people-pleasing is cheap air force 1 mens , and what to do once those people-pleasing tendencies rear their ugly heads. Quadrant means ?four? which means there are four different situations you will find yourself in that you will need to develop strategies to combat your people-pleasing tendencies. The four situations are as follows:


Quadrant # 1: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people ALSO like or love you in return:


This first quadrant is the easiest to manage, because at least you genuinely like or love the person you are dealing with, and they like or love you as well. However, remember the example we used above about the lover losing their job and the flowers? No matter how much you like or love someone, or how much they like or love you, bad things happen sometimes. We all say things we don't mean. The trick is to not take the people you care about personally, and feel responsible for ?fixing? them. Let the person you like and love be hurt cheap air force 1 womens , angry, mad, and upset. It doesn't have to affect your core happiness, although you can sympathize with the person and let them know you will be there for them, if they want to talk. Besides, this person cares about you ? and they don't want to drag you down, just because they are having a bad day. Give them a little space cheap air force 1 high , and let things sort themselves out. Spend your energy focusing on more productive ventures, such as going for a jog to get in shape, studying for an important test, or reading a book that is of interest to you. People-pleasing is really annoying to people who like or love you already. They don't expect you to make everything better, they just need some time to get over it.


Quadrant # 2: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people DON?T like or love you in return:


The second quadrant is oftentimes the most painful quadrant to come to terms with, regardless if it is about a ?friend,? family member cheap air force 1 mid , or lover. Once in a great while, we can like or even love someone who doesn't like or love us in return. We do everything in our power to be ?good? enough, 'supportive? enough, ?encouraging? enough, ?kind? enough, whatever enough! But somehow, it is never enough cheap air force 1 low , and it never will be.


Once in awhile, these people we like or love are nice to us out of pity, guilt, regret or remorse ? or because we are fulfilling some kind of need for them that they don't want to give up. Don't mistake their temporary kindness as genuine concern! Because honestly, these people don't like or love us at all. It could be for a variety of reasons, but those reasons don't have anything to do with you. The trick for getting over people-pleasing in this quadrant is to realize what quadrant these people belong in, and come to terms with the fact that they don't like or love you. On the other hand cheap air force 1 , realize that there are millions of other people out here who would absolutely adore you. Realize that you are wasting your valuable and precious time with people pleasing, especially in this quadrant, because no matter what you do, it won't matter. Just move on to someone who will like, love and appreciate the beautiful person you are.


Quadrant # 3: Dealing with the people you DON?T like or love when those people DO like or love you.


Most of the people-pleasing in this quadrant comes out of guilt, pity or personal gain. Although I must admit, it is really hard not to like someone who likes you cheap nike air force 1 shoes , but you may be able to definitely see that the other person likes or loves you WAY more than you like or love them.


I believe my grandmother